Drawing closer to Lydia's testing for Cystic Fibrosis and her appointment with the Oncologist has caused me to rely more on God. At least, that should be the appropriate response. Yet, as Friday draws nearer I am filled with tumult and anxiety. I know - it is a sin to worry. I know - I need to cast all my cares on the Lord. But, there seems to be a break between my mind and my practice!
This morning I got a call to confirm her CF test for Friday at 9:00am. And, the Oncologist will be able to see her that morning as well, at 10:30. I need your prayers friends, I am scared. I do not want to lose my baby. Not now... not in 15 or so years... not before I die. I am carnal and selfish, and I want to keep my doll here on Earth for my own pleasure. Yet, I know that I must surrender my will, my plans, my life to God. If He decides to take any of my children or my most precious treasure, my husband, I need to trust that it will all be for His Glory.
Pray for us that we will be good witnesses for God in the coming days/weeks/months while we attempt to determine what ails our girl. Pray for me that I will not give in to anxiety.