This past week, Paul and I have been thinking a lot about how much we have changed in the last 8 years. (Let's leave my clothing size out of it!) Some of these changes are enormous, in other ways - well, I wish I would have changed more!
My Passions -
Then: After we first got married I asked Paul, my parents, and my brother what they thought my biggest passion was (based on my lifestyle). They all answered eating/food!!!
Now: When I asked Paul the same question yesterday, he answered that he thinks I am passionate about being a godly wife, mother, homemaker, and teacher.
Then: "Paul, why are you always reading? Don't you care about me? Can't we talk? Who wants to read in their free time anyway?!"
Now: I love reading! It is one of my favorite pass-times, second only to writing.
Then: "Paul, I'm bored." I was always bored, I would often practice flute for hours.
Now: Who has time to be bored?! I haven't played my flute for months. I play piano every day to prepare for family worship, but not flute.
Then: "Why would anyone want to homeschool? I thought we were supposed to be the salt and light to the lost world?"
Now: We now homeschool.
Then: "What is so important about doctrine? Why can't we all just get along?" "Can't we talk about something besides the Bible?"
Now: I LOVE to read and study the Bible and theology. I love to talk about doctrine.
Then: Paul made me give up country music. "Bethany, this music is not very edifying."
Now: I like music that is Christian, but I like other things as well. I especially like music that is instrumental only.
Then: Addicted to "Days of our Lives." Yes, it's true. I watched anything, and felt little remorse or shame. (I do know what I am talking about it my posts on entertainment!)
Now: The tv is in a closet gathering dust.
Then: "Paul, what temperature water do I use with this bleach load?" and "What kind of idiot uses cloth diapers? yuck!"
Now: I know all about laundry temps, I know now that absorbent fabrics (towels and diapers) shouldn't be washed with fabric softener. I find pleasure in cleaning diapers. I use vinegar and baking soda for lots of things now.
Then: I encouraged everyone with cards and kind words (except for poor Paul). And, I had no discernment.
Now: I have little time to write cards. And, I don't often think to use kind words. And, poor Paul and the kids hear my most deprecating speech. BUT, Paul told me last night that he still believes encouragement to be one of my spiritual gifts. Paul also says that I have a gift of discernment/knowledge. (Update 11-08-08: Since God changed my life, I am now much more positive to my family!)
Then: "Paul, how do you cook....?" followed by tears and screaming, "Why are you always taking over the cooking, that is supposed to be my job!" Then stomping off to my room to cry.
Now: "Paul, how do you cook..." followed by tears BUT I try to watch and learn. I now try to cook a lot of new things (and ruin them) then I run crying to my room. "Cooking is supposed to be my job. I am useless." (Updated 11-08-08: Since God sent His Holy Spirit to fill me I am no longer plagued with thinking I am useless over a little thing like cooking. And, I am no longer running off and slamming doors. My cooking hasn't improved in these past months, but my attitude has!)
"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."
Phil 1:6 (NASB)