Welcome! This is where it all began. I no longer post on this website and some of the content reflects former convictions and understandings. Some of these posts are hard core on issues that I am softer on these days. I deleted many posts that I feared would lead people into legalism, so if you find a missing hyperlink that may be why. These days I write at Covered By His Hand.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Can we do it?

Moving update - We are moving Monday, can we do it? Can we get it done? With all of the time spent helping Paul's folks we haven't gotten much done here! I can't believe how much there is still left to be packed! I will not panic, I will not panic, I will not panic...

Job update - Paul decided NOT to work at the prison, it just didn't match up with his personality! He applied last week with Dish Network, they are hiring 20 people. He has had 2 interviews and they said that as long as his drug test and criminal record come back clean he is hired! So, we are just waiting for the official call saying that all his records are in (the more states you have lived in the longer it takes... uh-oh.)

Home search - We have decided that we will live with Paul's family as long as we need to... hopefully we will be out before winter... We just don't have the money for a deposit/first month's rent right now. We praise God that He proved money for the rental truck to move - that it the most important thing right now. The rest will come in His Time.

Health of our family - We were up till 2:30 with Nelson last night. He had the worst hives I have ever seen! We were asking, "Is it allergic reaction to his shirt, is it strep rash (his cousin had it), is it poison oak (a friend had that), is it something else?" We think it is from his shirt, because it is ONLY on his shirted area. But, WHY? We did not change soaps, I ALWAYS use free/clear everything on his clothes! Could it be the washer itself? Lately we have had lots of laundry issues using his mom's washer/dryer! Is there harmful residue, bacteria, mold in the washer?! I think it is one of these things (Paul does too.) Last night we were crying and praying for Nelson, but also for us to have our own home (and washer facility) soon!

Friday, August 1, 2008

Having lots of children is a blessing

I used to hate taking all four of my kids into the store, because of all the comments I would get...
"I don't know how you do it"
"I am glad it's you and not me."
"You poor thing."
"My kids are grown and I am so glad"

You get the idea, people can say some ugly things.
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.
Luke 6:45 (KJV)
People speak what is deep in their hearts, and most American hearts are NOT filled with love for children.

I cannot count how many times women have told me that they were waiting to have children/more children till they become more mature, less selfish, or more patient. First of all, let me say that I am no Super Mommy, there is no blue, spandex suit under my clothing. When I got married, I did not come equipped with a more-than-average patience gene.

The Bible says that in our weaknesses, God's power is made strong in us (2 Corinthians 12:9). So, it is good to acknowledge your weaknesses and to ask for God's strength. BUT, we cannot use our weaknesses as an excuse for robbing our families of the blessing of children. God has used my children over and over to teach me just how selfish and sinful I am! He has used them as a sanctifying tool to refine me, to burn these impurities away!

If Paul and I had waited till we were "ready" to have kids - it probably never would have happened! If it was about our spiritual condition - we never would have been spiritual enough. If it was about money - we never would have had enough, or been established enough. And, if we would have waited to have another child till Rebecca was older, or we were "Ready for another one," we never would have had Nelson. I am so glad that we leave the decision of when to have babies to God - because I am SO INEPT to make such a decision!

People often ask, "Are you going to have more?" And, I answer by politely saying, "I would like to." Or, "we are leaving ourselves open to more." (It depends who I am talking to, what answer I give. Because your average Wal-Mart cashier does not want to hear that you are leaving the decision to God.) My daughter, Rebecca prays every day that Mommy will have more babies. I do not redirect her prayers - she is asking God to bless me, and I appreciate that! We want our kids to grow in an environment that says that children are wanted, that they are precious. We will NEVER use the words "accident" or "unplanned" to describe a child! NEVER! We live in the same world as everyone else, we know that children are born "unwanted" everyday. But, even these children are precious, planned, and wanted. Maybe that parent does not see it, but GOD has a plan for every life! (Psalm 139, Jeremiah 1:4-5, Jeremiah 29:11 -to name a few)

I love my children and I would love to have more. What's more: I pray that God would allow us to love other "unwanted" children. Paul and I have every intention of adopting as soon as we can afford it. We praise God for our children, and we will praise God whether we have more or not.

This is not intended to be a theological treatise, it is more of an emotional appeal. But, I want you to know my heart. I do NOT judge you if you disagree with what I have put forth here! We are still brothers and sisters in Christ, even if we have differing views on childbirth/childrearing! The most important thing in this issue is that you love the children you have!!! Love them and serve them as the blessing they are!

Nelson- my future man

My son Nelson is 4 years old. He will be 5 on November 1st, 2008. I am so glad that I read Douglas Wilson's book, Future Men when I did - it totally changed how I see Nelson. I now try to act towards him and expect of him what I would from a future man.

-I used to nag him about his bad habits, but I would never want his future wife to do that! I have tried to shape my speech to give him more respect... knowing that someday he will deserve it.

-I used to expect him to treat me like a lady, but now I am trying to get him to see all girls as ladies. He is not allowed to be crude around any "lady." What's more - he has started helping the little ladies out of the van!!! I am so blessed!

-I encourage Paul to keep Nelson with him more than he used to. And, on the farm, Nelson goes just about everywhere with him! He watches/helps them: work with hay, buy tractor parts at the parts store, and fix broken equipment. I have to brag on Paul here - he is the most amazing man! I am so proud of how he can fix just about anything broken!!! He is shy about being called a mechanic, but he is one! He can fix cars, tractors, toilets, and more. I am so glad I married a manly man!

-I have started praising Nelson for things that many people (and myself!) used to see as faults - and I often do it in front of him. Last week Paul's Dad called Nelson a "burden," because he "has the energy of two men." I said, "Praise the Lord!, we can shape that energy and in a few years he will do the work of two men!" Even now, I am teared up thinking about this very idea! What a job! But, what a great God - who gives us sons and daughters with such potential, then gives us the ability to steer them and train them in the way of godliness!

I praise the Lord for my men - Paul, Nelson, and Joshua!