"I don't know how you do it"
"I am glad it's you and not me."
"You poor thing."
"My kids are grown and I am so glad"
You get the idea, people can say some ugly things.
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.People speak what is deep in their hearts, and most American hearts are NOT filled with love for children.
Luke 6:45 (KJV)
I cannot count how many times women have told me that they were waiting to have children/more children till they become more mature, less selfish, or more patient. First of all, let me say that I am no Super Mommy, there is no blue, spandex suit under my clothing. When I got married, I did not come equipped with a more-than-average patience gene.
The Bible says that in our weaknesses, God's power is made strong in us (2 Corinthians 12:9). So, it is good to acknowledge your weaknesses and to ask for God's strength. BUT, we cannot use our weaknesses as an excuse for robbing our families of the blessing of children. God has used my children over and over to teach me just how selfish and sinful I am! He has used them as a sanctifying tool to refine me, to burn these impurities away!
If Paul and I had waited till we were "ready" to have kids - it probably never would have happened! If it was about our spiritual condition - we never would have been spiritual enough. If it was about money - we never would have had enough, or been established enough. And, if we would have waited to have another child till Rebecca was older, or we were "Ready for another one," we never would have had Nelson. I am so glad that we leave the decision of when to have babies to God - because I am SO INEPT to make such a decision!
People often ask, "Are you going to have more?" And, I answer by politely saying, "I would like to." Or, "we are leaving ourselves open to more." (It depends who I am talking to, what answer I give. Because your average Wal-Mart cashier does not want to hear that you are leaving the decision to God.) My daughter, Rebecca prays every day that Mommy will have more babies. I do not redirect her prayers - she is asking God to bless me, and I appreciate that! We want our kids to grow in an environment that says that children are wanted, that they are precious. We will NEVER use the words "accident" or "unplanned" to describe a child! NEVER! We live in the same world as everyone else, we know that children are born "unwanted" everyday. But, even these children are precious, planned, and wanted. Maybe that parent does not see it, but GOD has a plan for every life! (Psalm 139, Jeremiah 1:4-5, Jeremiah 29:11 -to name a few)
I love my children and I would love to have more. What's more: I pray that God would allow us to love other "unwanted" children. Paul and I have every intention of adopting as soon as we can afford it. We praise God for our children, and we will praise God whether we have more or not.
This is not intended to be a theological treatise, it is more of an emotional appeal. But, I want you to know my heart. I do NOT judge you if you disagree with what I have put forth here! We are still brothers and sisters in Christ, even if we have differing views on childbirth/childrearing! The most important thing in this issue is that you love the children you have!!! Love them and serve them as the blessing they are!