Welcome! This is where it all began. I no longer post on this website and some of the content reflects former convictions and understandings. Some of these posts are hard core on issues that I am softer on these days. I deleted many posts that I feared would lead people into legalism, so if you find a missing hyperlink that may be why. Our family is no longer "quiver full," I no longer wear a headcovering, and I do not wear skirts/dresses exclusively. These days I write at Covered By His Hand.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
These past few days have been very difficult for me. I feel as though my body has gone into hibernation mode. I am sleeping at least 12 hours and waking up tired. I cannot/do not wake up when my kids get up. I have been completely unable to perform normal tasks.
This is nothing new to me... BUT I had a few months reprieve and I was taking my health for granted. As you know, I am hypothyroid, and I cannot seem to find adequate treatment. I haven't tried anything but Synthroid, because my insurance won't pay for anything else.
Monday I go to see a DO for the first time and I am hoping that he will be able to recommend natural methods. Paul has agreed to pay ANYTHING out of pocket in attempt to make me well. As I have said here before, I know that God is a healer. But, I know that He may have reasons for not healing me (even though my family begs and pleads). We know that God is all powerful and all-knowing! We trust ourselves to Him! If God will not heal me, then I can/will trust that it is for my good and for His glory.
Still, I wander how bad it will get... Will I be able to keep teaching the kids? In the past I have gotten too tired to teach, too tired to cook, too tired to clean. How bad will it get this time? But, I am blessed! The Lord has given me a daughter who has the heart of a servant! She blessed me today by insisting that she would do the dishes alone! Up to this point she has been learning to wash, and has been supervised. I usually look over her shoulder to watch for dirt that didn't get cleaned off. But, this afternoon, my Precious Becca did all the work herself.
What's more, I heard her reviewing some phonics sounds with Nelson and Lydia today. And, I heard her teaching Nelson to write the letter "X."
I am crying... (sniffles) ... because I don't know what I would do without her. I know that the kids will not go hungry because she can cook too! My human mind doesn't always understand why God doesn't always heal, but this afternoon I am glad that I am sick. If I wasn't so tired I would never know just how precious, useful, and giving my daughter is!
I am so unworthy!