Welcome! This is where it all began. I no longer post on this website and some of the content reflects former convictions and understandings. Some of these posts are hard core on issues that I am softer on these days. I deleted many posts that I feared would lead people into legalism, so if you find a missing hyperlink that may be why. These days I write at Covered By His Hand.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Why God says "Wait"

It boggles the mind that some people get married at a young age, while others have to wait a long time. It does not make sense how the women who most want to get pregnant have to wait the longest (or may never have any at all). We ask "Why God?" In a world where so many people rush into seemingly foolish marriages and get divorces in less than a month, and others wait their whole life for the right one to be committed to and devoted to, only never to find that person. Or, we see people in the news and in Wal-Mart that are angry at being pregnant, they don't want their babies. Then, we see so many godly Christian women begging and pleading God, "Please, God, when will it be my turn?" So often we see God asking us to "Wait." Some people may wait their whole lives for something and never get it (marriage, baby, salvation of a family member). We ask "Why God, what is your purpose in this?"

I have a theory. I think that God wants to see us grow, even if it brings pain to us. Read this passage from James: My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. James 1:2-4 (KJV)

Here is yet another part of my theory, follow me as we ride on my train of thought...
Some Christian women are in training their whole lives to be brides and mothers. They can cook and sew beautifully. They have the patience to deal with a half dozen babies all at once. These women seem to be the ones who have to wait the longest to meet their husbands and their future children (this can be said of men wanting to be husbands and fathers, as well). We all think, "God, she would be the perfect wife, the perfect mother." But, maybe God is thinking something like "she will be an excellent wife, she is all ready for that business. The best way to shape her and refine her is to make her wait for this - her deepest longing."

Then, we see women (like me) who grew up entirely selfishly, never thinking of anyone but herself. Never learning any useful thing to prepare her to be a good wife or mother. And, I end up married right after I turn 21 (to a man I knew all of three months). And, then I have 4 children in succession. So many times I would cry out, "Why God?" I struggled hard as a new wife. I wanted to run away more times than I can count. Then, I struggled as a new mom - I didn't know anything about raising babies! I have often questioned why God would entrust these four precious babies to a woman so unqualified as myself! But, maybe God is thinking something like, "She is so good at being independent. She is so good at thinking for herself. The best way to shape her and refine her is to give her a husband who will teach her about submission. Then, she needs many small children to give her patience and teach her not to be so selfish."

I do not mean to make light of God here - I know that his "thoughts are not [my] thoughts, neither are [His] ways my ways, saith the LORD." Isaiah 55:8 (KJV - adaptation mine) I am just trying to point out that different people need different circumstances to grow! Am I saying that God is cruel, or ignoring our prayers for things? NO, absolutely not! God is a giver of good things! Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. James 1:17 (KJV) God is more generous that we will understand in this lifetime!

Let's not forget that the same God who gave His son for our sins (Isaiah 53, John 3:16, Mark 12, Romans 5:8-10), gives perfect gifts, at the perfect time!


Steve and Paula said...

Ouch! You hit the nail on the head Bethany.
Thank you so much.
I am the opposite of you.
I am a proffesional cook and housekeeper. No joke.
I married two years ago at the age of 31. I have had 3 miscarriages since then. The third was last weekend.
I am doing everything "perfectly" so to speek.
I do feel like I am leaving everything to the Lord, but than again.....
Needless to say, your thoughts were timely.
Hugs sister,

Bethany W. said...

It couldn't have been easy to write that here. Thank you for trusting me with that information!

My heart breaks with you! Please know that this post was not to bring any kind of pain or condemnation to anyone - it was me asking "why," because I see so many of my dear friends hurting!

I am praying for you, friend!

Jenny said...

Beautiful! This is how I see God. As a refiner and a shaper. Knowing what we need more than we do. From one MOMY to another. God bless!

Bethany W. said...


Thanks for your comment! Glad you stopped by!