... I have indoor plumbing. (most of the time)
At least... I still have my sense of humor. When Paul went into the crawl space to assess how many of our hot water pipes are frozen, I turned on Vivaldi's Winter (from his Four Seasons) as mood music.
At least... the pipe did not bust.
Many apologies to Grandpa Jim who spent time preparing the floor for linoleum. But, at least we now know why there was a hole cut in the bathroom floor.