This afternoon I go to the doctor... which appointment I was formerly dreading. I was filled with toxic fear and pernicious anxieties. My sins were carrying me away in a stream of poison.
Translated: I was sinning in my worry about what the diagnosis could be. I was letting fear of the future prevent me from seeking help that may make my present circumstances better. But, I have repented of that.
Sunday's sermon was encouraging and convicting. We listened while the Pastor exposited Phil 4:4-7. He called worry and anxiety a SIN! And, I cried with the conviction it brought upon my heart. Then, the pastor continued in the sermon to bring encouragement - the peace that passes understanding! I walked away renewed.
Maybe I am dying. Maybe I have cancer. Maybe I will not walk at this time next year. Maybe I will go blind. Only the Lord knows! I need to trust God! He is always with me, He will never leave me or forsake me! And, what's more, this present ailment may turn out to be nothing more than poor diet/vitamin deficiency.
With confidence we take the next step to begin searching for a proper diagnosis. I don't expect that we will learn anything today... but we take this first step. Grandma W is watching the napping children so that Paul and I can go together. Paul will see to it that I speak no more than what is true, and no less. I will be glad to have him along!