Any time that I make a confession on this blog, you can be sure that I am not doing it for my own pleasure. When I "come clean" in this venue, it is because I honestly believe that someone else may benefit from knowing my struggles. With this explanation in mind, I confess to you:
I am recovering from an addiction to blogging.
Psalm 42:1 says, "As the deer pants for the water brooks, So my soul pants for You, O God."
I am very sorry to say that up until last week, I was panting for blogging. I was sitting in front of the computer for more hours per day than I would like to own to. I was hungering and thirsting for comments. I was lying awake nights thinking of topics to write about and composing posts in my head when I should have been sleeping. It was a miserable life.
Yes, I have been sick. Yes, using the computer is one of the few things I was/am still able to do. But, that in no way licenses me to sit here all day and be lazy! I could just as easily sit on the couch and listen to Rebecca read. Or sit and read to the little kids. I am sure that I could have found things to do! I let my physical disability (whatever it is) keep me from whatever domestic work I could have done.
I have repented of my blogging addiction. I have asked the Lord to forgive me and take away the thirst for information. Now, I want to challenge you!
Are you a Mommy or Daddy who has a blog or spends a lot of time reading other blogs (or both)? Is computer time taking away from your time teaching/training your children? Do you "snap" at your kids more often, because you are trying to focus on what you are reading and writing? Even if you are reading great things about the Bible, child rearing, or living off the land - are you taking away time from your family to do it?
I used to feel trapped by this pretense I had pasted myself into! I would see all the names on the Quiverfull Blogroll and feel like "If they can do it, so can I." Seriously, if women with even more than my 4 kids can keep up with a blog (or two or three!), I thought I ought to be able to do it. But, alas, I can no longer keep up this pretense. Now that I have been out of the blog world for one week, I can see a bit more clearly.
I feel like God has cut a burden from my back! I no longer have to sit here all day and watch for comments and reply to them. I no longer have to follow everyone else's posts and comment on those. It all takes so much time and energy, and I will not attempt to do it any longer! God has freed me and I do not want to get back into that rut!
I WILL keep this blog, I believe that it still has a purpose (so long as I keep things in focus.) I will still put on updates. I will still post on weightier matters when the Lord leads me to. BUT, I will no longer pant after the recognition of having a blog. I will not seek to be known among the blogging community. I no longer hunger and thirst for the blog.
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Matt 5:6 (NASB - emphasis added)