Welcome! This is where it all began. I no longer post on this website and some of the content reflects former convictions and understandings. Some of these posts are hard core on issues that I am softer on these days. I deleted many posts that I feared would lead people into legalism, so if you find a missing hyperlink that may be why. These days I write at Covered By His Hand.

Monday, July 20, 2009

What I am learning

...or perhaps what I am trying to learn from my weakness and disability. I write these lessons after coming through the worst of it (for now, anyway). I seem to be in some sort of remission, OR God is healing me. I am a little stronger every day. I am able to do household chores that I could not do before! I am able to wash and dress myself! And, I even played my flute the other day! Whereas my arms were too tired before to wash my hair and fix it, I can now hold up my arms to play my flute. These are all praises to God! Now, onto the lessons I am slow in learning...

1) We often forget to thank God for our health. But, we are quick to complain when our health fails in the least bit.

2) Sometimes the actions we would label as "little things" are not so little when you can no longer do them. For example, most of us take for granted the ability to button your own shirt, or wash your own hair. But, I am learning that such "little" things are HUGE when you have to ask someone else to do it for you! I need to be thankful for the little things I can do.

3) If the scenario was reversed, and Paul was the one with the disability, (if he could not contribute anything to cooking, cleaning, disciplining/correcting children, or even dressing himself) how would I react? Would I be as kind, loving, and gracious as he has been with me? Would I reaffirm my love for him, in sickness and in health, every day through my words and actions?

4) I cannot be so hard on myself for not achieving my goals... because I tend to set unreasonable goals, I always have.

5) I must not think that my kids are not being taught in these rough seasons of our homeschooling, because right now, they are learning a lot of lessons that some children never learn - some good, some bad. Good lesson - a healthy spouse takes care of a sick spouse. Good lesson - do all things without grumbling and complaining, even when you are sick. Good lesson - being sick is never an excuse for sin. Good lesson - when messing up and forgetting any of these previous lessons, we need to repent to God and family. Bad lessons - Rebecca told me last week that she hopes she dies before becoming disabled. This shows me that I have a lot more lessons to learn myself!

6) Never say that "God will never" do something, because you just don't know. I almost sold my flute, I was convinced I would never play it again. I was convinced that I would be in a wheelchair by next year... you just don't know!

I have been honest here, knowing that I am just a babe in the area of suffering. I will be the first to admit that I have a lot more to learn. And, it may be that God will send a similar affliction next fall to continue to grow me in the areas where I lack. While I do not at all look forward to such a prospect, I do pray that if/when the time comes that I will be mold-able clay in the Potter's Hands!


Mama Hen said...

You are an encouragement to me Bethany. Our God is a God who heals and your response to Him is one of gratefulness. How wonderful to play the flute again!

Ruby said...

Praise God!
Both for your remission and for the refining work he is doing in you!
What a wonderful encouragement you are and what lessons you and the children are being taught.
"Praise ye the Lord, O give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good: for this mercy endureth for ever."

Jennifer said...

God has given you such insight despite all you have been suffering. Reading your blog has helped me to be more encouraged and to constantly seek God's grace and wisdom in ALL things. Thank you for taking the time to share. You are an encouragement to others and may our response to your blog help to encourage you!!